Once a year we celebrate with stupid hats and plastic plates

The fact that you were able to make another trip around the sun

And the whole clan gathers round and gifts and laughter do abound

We let out a joyful sound and sing that stupid song

Happy Birthday, Now you’re one year older

Happy Birthday, Your life still isn’t over

Happy Birthday, You did not accomplish much

But you didn’t die this year I guess that’s good enough

So let’s stick to your fading health and hope you don’t remind yourself

The chance of finding fame and wealth decrease with every year

Does it feel like you’re doing laps and eating food and taking naps

And hoping that some day perhaps your life will hold some cheer

Happy Birthday, What have you done that matters?

Happy Birthday, You’re starting to get fatter

Happy Birthday, It’s downhill from now on

Try not to remind yourself your best years are all gone

If cryogenics were all free then you could live like Walt Disney

And live for all eternity inside a block of ice

But instead your time is set, this is the only life you get

And though it hasn’t ended yet, sometimes you wish it might

Happy Birthday, You wish you had more money

Happy Birthday, Your life’s so sad it’s funny

Happy Birthday, How much more can you take

But your friends are hungry, so just cut the stupid cake

Happy Birthday Happy Birthday Happy Birthday To...